Well, I know the Bible says Jesus turned water into wine, but it didn't say liquor store wine. It had to have been non-alcoholic wine, because it didn't have time to ferment.
An effeminate 30-something bachelor assistant funeral director befriends a very wealthy elderly widow in the small town of Carthage, Texas, kills her, hides the body, and convinces the town that nothing is wrong for nearly nine months. What an amazing true crime story! Let's get Jack Black to play the guy, Shirley MacLaine to play the old lady, and the real life townspeople to play themselves in a big screen adaptation of this story! Better yet, since Kay McConaughey is from Carthage, let's interview her as well. Maybe she can talk her son, Matthew into being in our little film too (I hear he's a pretty good actor).
I know the above paragraph sounds pretty ridiculous, but I assure you it is completely true. I also assure you that only my favorite director, Mr. Richard Linklater could pull this off. And he does. In astonishing fashion.
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