Sunday, February 19, 2012

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) 1/5


You have made a grave mistake...

Offensively bad. That's the best way I can describe this movie. Offensive to Transformers, offensive to action movies, offensive to screenwriters, offensive to robots, offensive to NASA, and (MOST OF ALL!) offensive to viewers valuable time. The first Transformers movie was a fun romp that pretty well captured what it would be like if little boys' play fantasies were given a hundred-million-dollar budget. Revenge of the Fallen was a bad film that completely went off the rails of believability and included the horrible atrocities of a magical transporting Air and Space Museum and metal robot testicles. Still, this movie never took itself too seriously. Dark of the Moon seems like an attempt to make the movies epic while at the same time holding on to the silliness of its predecessors. This makes for a horrible, horrible movie. Sure, the action in the last 45 minutes is pretty impressive, but it in no was excuses the waste of ninety minutes it took to get there. Plain and simple, this movie is an offensive affront to anyone who likes good movies or even those that can muster up the courage to enjoy bad ones.

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