-Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you... I think that's the only thing I've ever really been sure of in my entire life. And I'm really messed up right now, and I got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it. And I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I have to, right?
-Yeah. Yes!
-So what do we do? What do we do?
So, you are a young Hollywood up-and-coming actor or actress and you want to write, direct, and star in your very own feature film. All you have to do is follow Zach Braff's quick and easy guide:
1. Write a quirky screenplay that plays off your own life but exaggerates for the sake of fantasy elements (not for the sake of entertainment alone - i.e.: don't listen to the suits and focus groups!).
2. Inject a nice little love story with an absolutely adorable costar (Natalie Portman is preffered)
3. Cast Peter Sarsgaard as one of your close friends regardless of your age. He can pull it off, he is probably the most "chameleon-like" actor of our time.
4. Cast Method Man in a bit part in which he imparts vague wisdom to the main character.
5. Get some of the best little known indie-rock bands to let you use their songs a soundtrack that fits the mood of your film perfectly (The Shins, Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine)
6. Add in just a dash of little-remembered classic music from some combination of Nick Drake, Simon & Garfunkel, or both.
7. Sit back and watch the perfection unfold before you.
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