308. Inside Man (2006)

-This time next week, I'll be sucking down piña coladas in a hot tub with six girls named Amber and Tiffany.
-More like taking a shower with two guys named Jamal and Jesus, if you know what I mean. And here's the bad news: that thing you're sucking on? It's not a piña colada!

Spike Lee directs Clive Owen vs. Denzel Washington in what is probably the best bank-robbin' movie of the new millennium.

But enough about that, while searching for ways to get to my blocked blog at school, I discovered a Czechoslavakian website that specializes in 365-day blogs. I just so happen to have been their entry on April 1.

Check it out!
I am so humbled... ;)

307. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)

When Jean-Baptiste did finally learn to speak he soon found that everyday language proved inadequate for all the olfactory experiences accumulating within himself.

If you've never seen a film directed by Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run, Heaven, The Princess and the Warrior), I highly suggest that you do so immediately. His films are criminally underseen including this one, which is one of the most unique and mind-blowing films I have seen in the past decade. Very few writer/directors would have the guts and ability to pull off a story in which the protaganist creates amazing perfumes by using the literal essence of murdered women as his secret ingredient. This film is not a love story, instead it is a love letter to boiled down essences of beauty, love, and humanity.

306. Shortbus (2006)

As my dear departed friend Lotus Weinstock used to say: "I used to wanna change the world. Now I just wanna leave the room with a little dignity."

This movie remains the only film that actually thanks me on the DVD credits. It also just happens to be the best film of all time to contain what nervous critics call "unsimulated sex". If you are (really) open-minded about sexuality, it is an amazing, funny, and touching look at relationships in New York after September 11th.

305. Wordplay (2006)

And there's word-choice rules. You can't use - usually - bodily functions in puzzles, you know. "Urine" would bail me out of a corner, I mean, a million times a year. Same with "enema." "Enema" - talk about great letters...

A documentary about crossword puzzles. Sometimes movies that can be summed up so succintly are bland, but it is much more often that a filmmaker is able to tell a gripping story from the seemingly mundane by strictly keeping it simple. The first half of the movie explains the power of the puzzle by studying its main champion, New York times puzzle guru Will Shortz, and his fans. The film really takes off though in the second act as dedicated word wizards tackle the puzzles at competition. This is definitely one of those movies that will make you want to watch more documentaries.

304. The Nativity Story (2006)

He is for all mankind.

I've said it for quite a while now, but I have a screenplay in me somewhere. If and when it ever gets down on the written page, its inspiration will be clear. There is no doubt in my eyes that the birth, life, and death of Jesus Christ is the greatest thing that has ever happened to humanity. In my experience, this is the only film that has captured any aspect of his life with appropriate respect and power all the while helping to deliver Christ's message of hope and love. Keisha Castle-Hughes is absolutely perfect as the virgin Mary and I won't hold it against the director that she gave up on making good films after this one to make a certain blood-sucking piece of Mormon propaganda.

303. Slither (2006)

Grant looks like a squid, don't know where he's gonna hide... Seaworld maybe.

Nathan Fillion, the writer of the "Dawn of the Dead" remake, Elizabeth Banks, zombie-creating aliens, and super-ironic-awesome music!!! Count me in!

302. Snakes on a Plane (2006)

All praises to the PlayStation.

Every once in a while a movie comes along and delivers exactly what it promises. If Samuel L. Jackson vs. hundreds of venomous snakes on a 777 Hawaii to California flight doesn't pique your interest then I can guarantee you won't like this movie. On the other hand, that sounds pretty awesome to me. It also helps if you see this movie with fun people. I happened to catch it at the midnight preview showing in a small sold out theater and had an absolute blast!